Gypsy Poetry

A review. Beware the spoilers, my friends, and also beware the fangeekery.

I went in with rock-bottom expectations. I learned my lesson with Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire; I’ll never expect greatness from a sequel again. So, since I wasn’t expecting much more than some hot Logan/Jean smooching.

So, since I expected so little, I was pleasantly surprised when I enjoyed it.

Notice I didn’t say that it was great or good or anything like that. I enjoyed it, and it had some good moments, but it was also very flawed.

My major complaint is that they tried to cram two movies into ninety minutes. There were two very good stories in the movie: Dark Phoenix and the cure. Both storyarcs deserved a film, but putting the two together just made the whole thing feel slapdash and rushed, and neither story got the attention it deserved, particularly the Dark Phoenix story. That is one of the most important storylines in the comics, and in this film, Phoenix just sort of stood around uselessly, staring off into space and occasionally going batshit insane.

I did, however, like how they dealt with Phoenix. I never liked the cosmic-entity-Phoenix retcon; in my own personal fanon, the Phoenix is the culmination of Jean’s own powers, and I was pleased that they went with that in the film. I also like how she rebelled against Xavier’s control, and that Xavier got to show off some of his less-savory traits in this film. He was such a damn nice guy in the first two movies, and I do wish that they had done a bit of a better segue into manipulative!Xavier, because for someone who’s not familiar with the comic canon, Xavier suddenly turning into a bastard would have been startling.

I just wish that Phoenix had whipped up on Magneto for being a manipulative bastard. She knew that he was just using her, and I don’t understand why she didn’t demolecularize him like she did Xavier. I read a spoiler months ago that two X-Men die in the film, and I figured out that it would be Cyclops and Xavier through the trailers and the promo images. I did not, however, expect them to use the cure on Magneto. That was hands down the cruelest, most fitting punishment they could have given him. Of course, the little chess-piece wiggle at the end raises the question of the cure really being permanent; Worthington would have no idea of the long-term effects of the cure, since he’s only been working on it for less than ten years. Actually, that makes me wonder. How long does it usually take a drug to get through the FDA approval process? Ten years from first idea to marketing seems kind of quick, but then I really don’t know much about it.

The deaths. Xavier’s death I expected and can see the usefulness of. He’s the mentor. The mentor has to die for the team to be fully mature, at least in movie canon. Cyclops’s death, on the other hand… Okay, you all know that I don’t like Cyclops much. I can’t stand him in the comics for various reasons, and I never really cared for him in the films. But his death seemed really useless. I mean, it showed that Phoenix is ruthless, blah blah blah, but why did she kill him? Maybe she took his blast into the water as a threat? She was just in a bad mood? She finally got sick of him being a pussy? That was below the belt, sorry Cyke fans, but really. I can’t figure out why (within the story, at least) she killed him.

Hm… where to ramble to next…

Mystique. Wasted. Poor Raven, though I am fascinated by Magneto’s reaction to her being cured. It seems somewhat out of character for him to leave her behind, but the more I think about it, the more I think that they writers were just trying to emphasize his descent into racism. He’s the ultimate ironic character in this universe; he was persecuted for being both Jewish and a mutant by the Nazis, and he turns into a bit of one himself. It still feels sour, that he would leave her behind, but the more I think about movie!Magneto, the more it works.

Another flaw in the film: the cast of thousands. We have a load of new characters thrown at us, and very few of them get enough screentime to actually explain their powers or who they are. As a comic fan, I got some giggles out of Multiple Man and Juggernaut, but some of the others? Callisto? I can’t remember, did she have superspeed in the comics? As Psylocke? WTF were her powers in the movie, being a chameleon? And who the hell is Arclight? Angel just got to flap around and look like an angsty, grown-up Draco Malfoy, and Kitty was suddenly tossed into our laps as an Important Character. Don’t get me wrong, I really like Kitty, but someone who’s never read a comic might end up wondering why the hell they’re supposed to give a crap about this chick who’s stealing Rogue’s boyfriend.

Also, I’m not a big stickler for comic canon in the films. This is one of the fandoms that I can separate into different canons and have no trouble going between them (unlike Harry Potter, hehe). I’m not going to freak out because Juggernaut was a mutant and didn’t get his powers from the M’Krann crystal. But really, if you’re going to bring in a supporting character from the comics, at least give her or him the same powers, name, and/or sex that they had in the comics. Psylocke is one major example of this. In the comics, she had psi blades. In the movie… she could blend into walls? Another is the guy throwing bone spikes at Wolverine in the woods. Um… growing bone weapon is Marrow’s power, and last I checked, she was a chick. What’s the point of making it into a guy, other than they think audiences aren’t going to buy the idea that a chick can stand up to Wolverine? It’s kind of offensive, but then I am PMSing. ;)

And now… the Logan/Jean stuff. I’m unashamedly and unabashedly biased , but the movie was worth it for their scenes. They captured everything that is their relationship in the comics, and it made me all squishy and happy inside. The lab scene set my panties ablaze, particularly when he raked his hand down her thigh. GUH. And I knew he was going to have to kill her in the end; it just made sense. It broke my heart, though, and it even made Wenchie, She of the Heart of Stone, cry. I wish they could have gone more into their relationship and interactions in the film, but that goes back to my thoughts on how this should have been two movies, one for the cure and one for Dark Phoenix.

I do think it’s funny that he knew her for a grand total of what, a month? And he was madly in love. Ha! It’s my OTP, though, so I will turn a blind eye. ;)

So, summing up: X3 has some serious flaws, but it’s an enjoyable movie overall, particularly if you dig the Redship.